we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I still have a little drunk in my system
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All the doctor said was why
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
