Soap is not a condiment
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
