i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
