i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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