you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
