Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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