Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
