Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize