this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
