I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
