K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
