Whod you bang
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
