I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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