there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You've changed since you got that strap on
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize