Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i've created a new STD.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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