Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
