Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
