A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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