oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
