Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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