I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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