This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize