That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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