We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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