my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
