This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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