Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
