I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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