The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
