My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
