That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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