so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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