my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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