he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
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