I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize