Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
