Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
