so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
