glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
