i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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