how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
