turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
