Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
