So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
