stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
