What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Buhtt sex?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
