Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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