i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
