Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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