Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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