When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
