how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
