we made out on top of his cat.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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