Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
