That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
