so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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